So I've been at this longer than I've been driving

Well I'm up to almost 11 years in Fire and EMS.
Demons?
Yeah I got 'em.
Bad Dreams?
Oh hell yeah.
Calls I regret running?
Just one

Eleven years and only one call I really regret.  It was a bad night but sorry for the gore hounds but that one isn't going up yet it's only been a year and a half and may still be going to court.  I want to kind of explain what the Fire Service has done to me.

First off I'm the guy that's always cool under the gun.  I always say in interviews and such that I'm at my best when the shit hits the fan.  Give me a ten car pileup with ejections and an overturned bus over paying my power bill.  Sick? No I just know my wheelhouse.

I work full-time as an EMT now and Part-time as a Firefighter/EMT with a specialized company that works exclusively on race tracks.  I love my job.

Yeah I left Law Enforcement because now I'm a father and honestly I was so burned out I did not care anymore about doing a good job.  That's another story for when I have time to write a very long entry.

I decided to write this post and now I can't come up with anything to say.  I mean the service is just my life now.  The calls don't really stand out anymore.  I've run thousands of calls.  I don't know how this effects my life I guess because I've gotten jaded or it's just life.

I do know some things that have been changed by the service.
I can drive anything in any weather.
I don't trust anybody entirely
I am a glutton for punishment.  (Car wreck in a driving hail storm=my cup of tea)
I have a iron stomach even when I'm already quezy
I watch people vomit to see whats in it
I clean up after myself at work
I can wash a fire truck front to back in ten minutes
I can handle anything or at least pretend to
People can yell at me all they want.  I still don't care
I'm still scared of snakes
I know that I can do anything I need to, just need to take a deep breath and do it.

Work is work it's good and I love it but it's a  job

So that happened

So I've been in Law Enforcement for 4 years this month.  When I started I found a mentor very early on in my career.  Over the years he has given me a lot of good advice and told me what to expect as my career progressed.

About the second day out of training he told me "If you stay in this business long it's gonna happen one day.  You're going to be in a knock-down drag out fight for your life and when it happens just don't lose."

Well this past week that happened.  An inmate walked up and told me he was going to beat my ass literally.  Well in 4 years this has happened a lot.  There's always some new guy that wants to test me.  I have a reputation being an officer who takes care of the inmates but is always ready to fight and always prepared.

I stood up to make my rounds and he grabbed me around the waist and picked me up.  I weight 250 pounds and am a pretty decent fighter but there's nothing you can do when someone grabs you around the waist.  He then threw me down and smacked my head against the concrete.

I felt us falling and I braced but the lights went out for just a split second.

My head hit the floor and I had the thought "You're on the ground.  You own the ground! End this!"

He was behind me trying to get me in a choke hold I broke the hold and tried to reach my OC spray.

I then realized that he had somehow gotten my belt off.  I grabbed for my spray and finally found it I brought it up to spray him knowing that it would spray both of us.  I closed my eyes and squeezed the instant I squeezed I felt him grab my hand and break the can I was holding.
A couple of seconds later as I was coming up with a new plan while fighting off another choke hold.  Another officer had seen it on camera which was good because I hadn't been able to make the "man-down" call.  He came in and tased the guy